Many newspapers, not much news

This is something I came upwith one night when I couldn’t sleep.

Eagle Pass, though already flooded with media for a city this size, could still use a couple more original newspapers. Here are some possible names for new newspapers for us:

(In no particular order.)

The Deaf Mute
La Basura
The Lap Dog
La Mordita
The No News Guide – motto: “No news is good news”
The Follower
The Kilogram – the official newsletter of the area drug trade
El Periodico Que Es Todo En Espanol
The None of Your Business Journal
La Leecha
The Drop Cloth
The Behind the Times or its Spanish version -- La Tortuga