4-Year Diploma, 1 year of real work

Eagle Pass Daily -- www.eaglepassdaily.com -- City and regional news, opinions, and photos.
     Let’s pretend I’m finishing 8th grade, heading to EPHS next year with the goal of graduating while slacking off the maximum amount. How much and how often can I sleep and play through my classes and still get my diploma?
     Luckily, I passed 8th grade math because this requires some calculations. To begin with, EPISD expects to have block scheduling next year, the ultimate arrangement for minimizing a student’s work load. In four years, taking 8 classes a year, I could get 32 credits. But, I only need 26 credits to graduate. Let’s see. I can fail 2 out of my 8 classes in both 9th and 10th grades, and 1 out of my 8 classes in both 11th and 12th grades.
     That’s 6 out of 32 classes of free time, to fail with no consequences, no summer school necessary, no Saturday classes, no falling behind in credits. Right off the bat, 19 percent of my time can be wasted with no worry.
     Do I need to spend all 81 percent of the remaining time actually working to get those 26 credits? No way! I’m going to spend the whole first semester every year doing absolutely nothing, and guess what? In each class I will get a free 50 for my grade. Then, I can get an 89 or higher the second semester and it averages out to a 69.5 (rounded to a 70) so that I get a full year’s credit.
     So, I need to pass only 81 percent of my classes, but I only have to work half the year (50 percent of the time) to achieve that. This all adds up that I only have to make a decent effort 40.5 percent of my time through high school and I can still get my diploma. Almost 60 percent of high school can be goof off, socialize, play around, sleep, flirt, wander-through-the-halls time!
     Wait, I forgot something. Those numbers assume perfect attendance, and I want to miss as much as possible without having to do a credit appeal. I think I’ll take my chances at missing 10 days a semester. Twenty days a year will go to staying home watching TV and texting my friends while they’re in class.
     Let’s go ahead and add to these days two early dismissal days a year when we don’t do anything, the last day of school, about 3 days a year of TAKS testing that only require a couple hours of effort, and a day for assemblies and miscellaneous school business. Out of 180 school days, for 27 of them, I’ll either be absent or there doing nothing. I’ll say that’s another 5.5 percent effort off from the previous 40.5 percent.
     I’ll be making an effort only 35 percent of the time through my four years of high school and still graduating. Wrong! That’s assuming that the teachers require me to stay busy the entire class period in each course that I’m needing to pass. On average, I’d say I will only have to work three-fourths of each class period (remember, only during the second semester) in order to get the 89’s that I need to bring up the 50’s from the first semester.
     Without even factoring in some cheating and copying, my final figure of time required to be on task now has come down to 27 percent. If I look hard for other loopholes, second chances, free grades, absences that can be removed, etc…, I can be working smarter instead of working harder, and by staying busy (at most) only 25 percent of my time across four years of high school, I will slide through with exactly 26 credits, exactly a 70.0 GPA and be a proud Eagle Pass ISD graduate.
     I can hear “Pomp and Circumstance” playing now.

In Memory of Memorial Day

Eagle Pass Daily -- www.eaglepassdaily.com -- City and regional news, opinions, and photos.
     Out working in my back yard this evening, I noticed the awesome aroma of the neighbor’s bar-b-q. For a moment, I wondered who has time to cook out on a weekday. Then, I remembered . . . O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o r-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ight – It’s a national holiday, except here in the border zone.     
     I came home from work and went out to check the mail, also forgetting federal employees had a long weekend that the teachers and students here are always denied.
     It’s ok. If we did go to school today, we’d just have to go one day longer next week.
     EPISD seems odd, though, in not celebrating Memorial Day. When I was in school farther north, our family always used the break for a fishing trip, then we’d return and finish the last 3 or 4 days of school.
     I solicited comments from other teachers at an on-line community. Five people said they were in school on this Memorial Day to make up for snow days. Four said they had never heard of going to school on Memorial Day. Two in Louisiana mentioned going for half a day.
     Interestingly, one teacher said their state’s year-round schools were in session today, but that a GOP leader there was urging parents to keep their kids home in protest. You know our good ole GOP – if you’re not constantly honoring the military, you’re supporting the enemy.
     Another person remembered having gone to school many years ago on Labor Day. No surprise, this was in the Rio Grande Valley, another almost not really the USA border zone.
     I saw throughout the news today that everyone was inner tubing, boating, going to the beaches, and having other mini-vacations, and I was jealous. I got over it by reminding myself, “Only 7 more school days; 7 more days; 7 more.”

"Enhanced learning" -- not torture

Eagle Pass Daily -- www.eaglepassdaily.com -- City and regional news, opinions, and photos.
     After a week of silence on the matter, the former head of Ireland’s Catholic reform schools, Meeney McSweeny yesterday defended the accounts of humiliation, beatings, rapes and other abuses against students in the institutions from the 1940s until the mid-1990s.
     Bishop McSweeny claims that while the controversial treatment of students might appear abominable to outsiders, the actions were actually “enhanced” behavior management techniques approved by the highest levels of the Catholic church.
     Furthermore, such enhanced techniques proved invaluable in gaining information from several high value snitches, McSweeny said, adding that the threat of sexual abuse once helped obtain information that prevented a cafeteria food fight.
     On a similar note, close to home, former vice president Dick “We Do Not Torture” Cheney has endorsed several proposed enhanced behavior management techniques for American schools. The Department of Education calls the measures Good Behavior by Enhanced Techniques – or Good BETs.
     Though students we interviewed said they would consider these ideas torture, Cheney responded that their use is a necessary tool in the war on terror.
     “If our students are not well-educated, we cannot be victorious over the enemies of freedom, thus severe approaches must be implemented,” Cheney said.
     And Cheney urged everyone to remember former President George Bush’s admonition concerning the war on terror: “If we don’t win, then we’ll lose.”
     Good BETs include the following possibilities for modifying student behavior:

• Chalkboarding – Student is forced to listen to a person scratching a chalkboard with their nails.
• Stress position – Student must sit up straight at a desk with a pen in their hand, facing forward for 50 minutes.
• Confinement – Student is locked in a small space with a repulsive, revolting creature – their parent. Both parents in the case of a serious infraction.
• Musical misery – Students caught with MP3 players are forced to hear classical and jazz music played at excruciatingly high volume for 7 consecutive hours.
• Visual nightmares – Students caught kissing on campus must watch the oldest faculty member at the school in a heavy makeout session with their spouse.
• Throwback tribulation I – Students must carry a textbook home and back to school.
• Throwback tribulation II – Student is forced to actually carry a pencil and paper to all of their classes for a month.
• Phone – Students caught with cell phones have their phone programmed to randomly send their text messages to everyone on campus.
• Eye/brain strain – Student must go to the library, check out a book and read it.
• Induced excessive sleep – Students who snooze in class would be forced to take strong sleeping pills at the end of the school day, so that they sleep at least 13 hours before returning to school the next day and find falling asleep in class impossible no matter how hard they try.

     The Good BETs, if approved by Congress would then be available for adoption by local school districts at their discretion.

Baca to the future

Eagle Pass Daily -- www.eaglepassdaily.com -- City and regional news, opinions, and photos.
     The news today on the new Maverick football coach maybe could have been better, but it definitely could have been worse. I’m surprised they went with an out-of-towner, although the choice looks better than most of the local applicants.
     Eddie Baca. Coached Del Rio to a 5-5 record in 1999, mediocre, but an improvement over the Rams’ 1998 mark of 0-10 under the previous coach. Then, unless there’s more than one Eddie Baca coaching high school football in Texas, my Google search showed the new Winn coach became a real nomad after lasting only one year with the Rams.
     In the past 10 years, Baca has spent time with 2A, 4A and even 6-man football without terribly impressive winning marks.
     Well, you’re not going to attract a superstar to Eagle Pass to a program that lacks a winning tradition. At least this guy has head coaching experience and probably some exposure to effective strategies used elsewhere around the state. When his full resume gets publicized, probably we’ll see the qualifications that led the athletic staff and school board to choose him over the rest.
     For the sake of the C.C. Winn athletes, I wish Coach Baca the best. I hope that he’s given everyone’s full support and that the board, parents and other EP coaches don’t undermine his efforts. I think the right person could make the Mavericks competitive. Is Baca the guy? I’m going to cross my fingers, hold my breath and wait and see.

Dear Eagle Pass Dropout, Thank You

Eagle Pass Daily -- www.eaglepassdaily.com -- City and regional news, opinions, and photos.
Since EPISD would have a lot to gain by reducing the dropout rate, I’ve often wondered why more effort isn’t put into this cause. The conclusion I’ve reached is that such effort from the school district going it alone would be pointless.
The dropout rate, probably between 30 and 40 percent, cannot be impacted significantly without a massive coordinated effort from the state, parents, schools, the community, business groups, civic organizations, churches and city and county governments.
Can teachers alone reduce the number of dropouts? Some, of course. And the rare teachers who can volunteer their lives to their students 24/7, becoming in essence surrogate parents, are able to make a big difference. Hardly anyone, however, can give that much of themselves.
Generally, we don’t have the influence to turn numerous lives around 180 degrees. So, when students have given up academically and use school as nothing but a hangout place until finally leaving, teachers – if they are honest – would tell you they’re often left feeling like this:
Dear Recent Dropout,
Thank you for your decision to leave our school. Hopefully, you have something better to do now than waste 8 hours a day of your time and ours. My workdays have become more pleasant since you left and the other students have benefitted by receiving more of my attention.
Maybe now you have more peace of mind as you probably spent the past several years resenting every school day because, “My teachers don’t like me.” You’re right. They probably didn’t like you. Your only reasons for attending school were for breakfast and lunch, to scope out the opposite sex, and to socialize. You caused daily disruptions and interfered with those who were trying to do something positive. There’s hardly much to like in that.
Good riddance to you and your kind. Yes, we want students to succeed and graduate. You, however, haven’t developed the maturity required to set goals for yourself. You got to high school and even digressed, acting again like the 1st grader you were many years ago. We have a lot of really great students, and your childishness stood in their way. Therefore, we’re fine with sacrificing you for the betterment of those left behind.
Hasta la vista, you ingrate. Given a fine campus, adequate resources and good teachers, you had the opportunity to prepare for college or a career and a comfortable future. You squandered this opportunity, one which young people in many other countries would die to have. Because your life centers around instant gratification, you couldn’t garner the self-discipline required to finish 2-3 more years of school to make yourself better off for the rest of your life. Maybe you have some lame excuses. Maybe you had some real hardships. I do feel a little sorry for you and wish you had stayed in school. In the end, though, you set the wrong priorities. You took control of your social life and recreation but refused responsibility for anything important.
Go and have your fun now. In a few years, you’ll be raising kids on minimum wage, struggling to keep them in decent clothes, or you’ll be writing them letters from behind bars, absent from every milestone of their young lives. Hopefully, you’ll tell your kids not to be like you. If you get a little smarter with age, you’ll tell them to study hard, stay in school, and graduate.
Sincerely,
An EPISD Teacher
Dear 4th, 5th and 6th graders,
Surely, you recognize the anger expressed in the letter above. You should understand that those who take education seriously, have little patience for those who disregard it. In the future, which type of person are you going to be?
I’m writing to you because in elementary school, many young people have already started down that slippery slope toward total academic failure. Please be determined to graduate from high school no matter what life may throw at you. With a diploma, you can go on to college or a trade school or a career such as law enforcement or the military. Have goals. Even if they change constantly, goals give you a reason to keep trying hard.
Academics might be hard for you. You might be behind. Maybe you’re just now learning English. No matter the circumstances, you must set your mind to working hard and always doing your best. Do you have any of these bad habits below?
*You copy most of your work from other students.
*You have not read more than 3 books (other than textbooks) in the past year.
*On a test, you won’t even attempt to answer a question unless it’s multiple choice, true/false or matching.
*You only do homework one night a week or less.
*You beg for points or extra work at the end of every nine weeks in order to pass.
*You are absent more than twice a month.
**You never give any though to what career you might eventually have.
If you are guilty of even one of the above, you are at risk of someday being a dropout. If you’re guilty of even one of these, you’re behind and getting further behind each day. Some day you’ll be one of those students whom the teachers are glad to see quit because they’re nothing but an annoyance.
Don’t let yourself become that type of person.
Sincerely,
An EPISD Teacher

Swine flu hogwash

Eagle Pass Daily -- www.eaglepassdaily.com -- City and regional news, opinions, and photos.
During the April-May swine flu scare, local yokels statewide, including EP’s own, acted more intelligently than the planet’s most far-reaching disease monitoring group – WHO.
Who? No, not Who, the rock band -- WHO – the World Health Organization.
After the first news of this new flu, schools closed as needed, groups canceled meetings and most government officials simply just prepared in case the outbreak got worse.
Meanwhile WHO director-general Dr. Margaret Chan, stirred up a worldwide panic by declaring during the early stages that “all of humanity is under threat.”
Thanks to quotes like this and thanks to constant reminders that WHO ranked the swine flu a scary 5 out of 6 on the pandemic scale, individuals worldwide needlessly wore masks in public, visited emergency rooms fearful that they had the disease, and avoided eating pork thinking that even cooked pig meat could be a threat.
While school districts shut down around San Antonio, in Brownsville and in Laredo, in Eagle Pass, the school doors stayed open. Most people supported this decision, but some did disagree. These people, I think, just felt that other schools were closing, so maybe we should, too, just to be safe.
To me, all of the districts made the right decision, except Laredo. From what I heard, Laredo only had “suspected” cases that never were confirmed. Plus, by the time the Laredo schools made their closings, it was apparent that this swine flu would rarely caused severe illness.
Even WHO now says that it will reassess its warning system for contagious illnesses. The current system rates the threat only on the geographic spread of a disease without considering its severity. So, the swine flu and the lethal ebola virus would receive the same threat level if they spread the same geographic distance. WHO’s threat system got everyone worked up far too much for something that’s mostly causing just a little fever and sore throat.
Another group that messed up in handling this outbreak was U.I.L. First, the regional track meets were canceled, then two days later rescheduled. Then, all sports were suspended for two weeks before a reversal was made and they resumed one week later. It seems like U.I.L. wanted to rush out announcements before thoroughly considering all of its options, and the frequent reversals really caused havoc with the planning of coaches, players, parents and fans.
Finally, Time magazine comes out saying the swine flu didn’t turn out so bad, but “just wait until next winter.” Yeah. I’m not scared. Here in Eagle Pass I’m more concerned about surviving the upcoming summer without having a heat stroke!

EPISD Board Members Get Schooled

The EPISD board elections (May 9) pretty much went as expected. One liar and cheater got voted out. One liar and cheater stayed in. One incumbent fell victim to being an associate of these two liars and cheaters.
As the old saying goes, “Two out of three ain’t bad.”
Actually, it is a slight surprise, because Eagle Pass election results usually aren’t so rational.
Lupita Fuentes survived, I guess partly due to a weak opponent. Rex McBeath and Tom Cary, I think felt the backlash from two recent issues – the poor handling of the C.C. Winn head football coaching vacancy, and the public’s realization that the board duped everyone about the proposed fine arts complex.
Adding these mistakes to a cartload of personal shortcomings, McBeath dealt himself a fatal blow through his lack of professional status. What the hell does he even do for a living nowadays? Does anybody know?
I saw comments made that the personal lives of our politicians don’t matter as long as they perform their duties well. I think it does matter, and matters more for the school board than any other elected position. We shouldn’t allow any school employee or school administrator to be a drunk, an adulterer, or a wife beater because the people around our children need to show by example how to live healthy lives -- emotionally, physically and mentally.
This triumvirate of McBeath, Cary and Fuentes might have been well-intentioned concerning the Winn coaching job, but they way they handled it created the perception of back room dealing or undue meddling. Furthermore, almost anytime the board rejects a hiring recommendation from its professional school employees (as it did twice in this case), it shows disrespect toward the administrators and other employees who made the recommendation. It says, “Your choice isn’t good enough, try again.”
It’s only human to wonder whether these three had a specific individual in mind that they wanted hired and whether they would reject anyone except their preferred applicant. If so, that level of meddling from the school board is unethical and can even be illegal. Hopefully, the board can now make a good decision on a coach for the Mavericks and hopefully he will have a strong recommendation from the athletic director and the full support of other district employees.
About the fine arts complex, the school board tricked some people who voted for the bond for the athletic complex thinking that it also would include an auditorium for band and drama performances and other uses. I knew prior to the bond election that the fine arts complex was just a ruse. To begin with, the board never proposed adequate funding to build what the fine arts backers requested. Secondly, the idea got tacked on to the bond package at the very end of the debate, obviously just to cast a wider net to garner more votes.
Every major construction project experiences cost overruns, and in this case, when a shortage of funds causes cutbacks, the first thing to go will be the last thing that was added – fine arts.
It won’t be due to the bond package, but we’ll have an EPISD fine arts center some day. Other districts similar to ours have them, and although our administrators and board don’t often lead the way, they are pretty good at following others.
Actually, our school district leadership lately has been effective, stable and almost scandal free. The new school board must realize that if they screw that up, they will pay come the next election. The board members should also each consider what happened to McBeath and Cary. Hard effort and good intentions can be offset by one or two instances of dishonesty and secrecy.
Oh yes, morals also matter.

Submissions to this blog will be added only once or twice per week through May. If the audience develops sufficiently, I will continue regular updates, beginning with three per week through the summer and five entries per week through next school year. If you know others who would like to see these entries, please help out by sending them e-mail or letting them know in person.
Coming next: Swine flu hogwash

TAKS for Parents

Mathematical Applications
1. If beer costs $6.25 a six pack and cigarettes are $4.20 a pack, how much does it cost for you to buy 2 six packs and smokes for yourself and each of your two brothers?
A) $50.10
B) $12.60 -- with a five-finger discount on the beer.
C) $100 after I use my leftover money to buy lottery tickets.
Making Predictions
2. If your daughter has 6 tardies and 3 zeroes in English class, and the teacher says, “I’m going to call your parents,” your daughter’s most likely response would be . . . ?
A) “Please don’t call them, I’ll be grounded.”
B) “My parents don’t care. Here’s my number – 555-5763.”
C) “I live at my boyfriends house.”
Percentages
3. If you have 4 hours of free time each weeknight and you spend 30 minutes of it helping your child with homework, what percent of your free time are you spending helping your child?
A) 12.5%
B) 125%
C) “Are you talking about what’s his name?”
Multiple Meaning Words
4. The location where the two boards met formed a joint. In this sentence “joint” means?
A) A connection point for two objects.
B) A penitentiary.
C) A special type of cigarette smoked only for medicinal purposes.
Estimating
5. Your child is absent 9 days the first nine weeks, 12 days the second nine weeks, 10 days the third nine weeks and 11 days the fourth nine weeks. Estimate the total number of days he or she is absent for the year.
A) 40
B) Still less than the number of days of work that I miss.
C) “Why does it matter?”
Using Context Clues
6. To improve your child’s chances of success, the school principal requests frequent parental involvement. In this sentence, the phrase "parental involvement" means?
A) Attending school functions.
B) Knowing the name of the school that your child attends.
C) Showing up at the school to complain each time your child is punished for misbehavior.
Distinguishing Fact From Opinion
7. Which of the following is a fact?
A) Teachers are overpaid for an easy job with long vacations.
B) The best attitude for a child to have is, “Don’t take crap from anybody.”
C) Video games and books are equally good pastimes for children.
D) All of the above
Making Inferences
8. Mrs. Botello’s 2nd grade daughter Maya has a cough, a runny nose, and a 101 degree fever. Despite Maya’s protests that she feels bad, Mrs. Botello still sends her to school because she has to go to work. You can infer that?
A) Maya is 7 years old.
B) Maya’s teacher is mean.
C) Mrs. Botello makes rational decisions.
Fractions
9. You pay $300 per month in child support. If 2/5 goes to one child with your first wife, how much are you paying for your younger child with your second wife?
A) $180
B) $450,000 pesos
C) Nothing until they come pry it out of my cold, dead hands.
Main Idea
10. Dariela’s parents read many books to her when she was little. In kindergarten she could read second grade books and Clifford the Big Red Dog was her favorite. In 3rd grade, Dariela missed only one question on the TAKS reading test. Once, Dariela was carrying several books to her bedroom and she tripped on a step. The main idea of this paragraph is?
A) Toddlers benefit from being read to.
B) The 3rd grade TAKS is easy.
C) Books are dangerous.

Evaluation
For each answer A, score 0. For each answer B, score 1. For each answer C or D, score 2. If your total score is more than 10, you are required to attend parenting tutorials each Saturday during the summer. In addition, you must re-apply for your position as a parent and you must re-take this exam until you pass.

Author’s Note:
This test, in order to equal the unbearable tedium given to students, needs at least 40 more questions. If you have an additional question or questions you would like to submit, please leave them as a comment or send an email to anon@stx.rr.com

Coming soon: The dire need to improve C.C. Winn Sports
A sincere thank you to this year’s dropouts