This ain't no cover up

     In his ongoing campaign to end oppression of women, French President Nicolas Sarkozy, who previously suggested a ban on the Islamic burqa, now has proposed a ban on winter, because it also forces women to cover their bodies from head to toe.
     “A burqa or a long, hooded coat, mittens, scarf and boots – there’s no difference,” Sarkozy told the Paris Daily. “We shouldn’t be forcing women to hide their identities behind these layers of unalluring clothing.”
     Asked how a ban on winter could be effected, Sarkozy said his scientific advisers believe it could occur if humankind continues to increase global warming through excessive pollution and by aggressively cutting down more trees.
     Sarkozy’s fashion concerns continue to expand. Most recently, during a meeting with cultural advisers he expressed frustration at surveys showing that fewer French women choose to go topless at the country’s beaches.
     Many French activists believe woman can help prove themselves equal to men by wearing only trunks on the beach – the same as men do -- and they would hate to see a turnaround in this sign of progress.
     “It’s absolutely unfair and oppressive when women have to cover their breasts and men don’t, not even the fat guys with the double D’s,” Sarkozy said.
     Some French citizens see their president as nothing more than a horndog eager to see more female skin exposed in public, but he has a ready answer for such criticism.
     “I’m not saying women should, or must be more revealing in their dress,” Sarkozy said. “I’m just saying if they want to do that, then society shouldn’t discourage them from it in any way (wink, wink).”
     The French president has even privately discussed legislation to outlaw g-strings at strip clubs.
     “All strippers should have the right to undress to total nudity,” he said. “We should not prohibit these women from revealing all the abundance of their natural beauty.”
     Concerning the burqa issue that started this whole campaign, supporters initially believed Sarkozy had a sincere concern for women’s rights, but inside sources say his opposition to burqas began following an embarrassing incident at a political rally. Apparently, he made a pass at a burqa-clad woman whom he described as having a “sexy bedroom voice,” then later found out she was an 80-year-old grandmother.
     “We men want to play the field, but these frigid Islamic fanatics won’t play by the rules,” Sarkozy allegedly proclaimed to a cabinet member.